On Writing

So I was reading someone’s blog the other day, and while I was reading I thought to myself, “I should write on my blog, too.”  Not because I have anything important to talk about right now, but because their writing was so bad.  As I was reading, I thought, “Man, I could do so much better than this,” because what they wrote was so stilted and sounded like it came out of a bad novel.  The writing was what I think people think writing should be – lots of big words and elegant phrases, but the meaning, the heart, the personality was drained out of it.  This person’s writing was like that – they used lots of two-dollar words, and all the words together sounded very melodic, but there was no life to it.  You could tell that this person read a lot as a teenager and young adult, and so they thought they knew what writing should be.  So they tried to copy everything they had read and crammed it all into one blog post.  And it was utterly boring.

Now, I’m not saying I’m the best writer in the world – far, far from it.  But I do think, when you read my writing, you can hear my voice.  I think writing should sound like the author’s voice is inside your head.  And in really good writing, you can hear the author’s voice even though you’ve never met them before – that’s how good they truly are.

I have two favorite blogs that I read all the time.  Over the years, I’ve tried out many other blogs, and there are some that I go back to from time to time, but I always keep coming back to these two consistently.  I’ve become invested in them, you could say.  I feel like I know these women and I follow their lives and their journeys as if they are good friends who’ve simply moved far away, and this is how we keep in touch.  When I read their writing, I can hear their voices inside my head – it helps that I’ve also seen video of them, so I actually do know what their voices sound like, but what is exciting is that, their real voices sound like their writing voices, and vice versa.

It seems these days that everyone thinks they should have a blog, and so they do.  There are many, many great ones out there, but there seem to be a growing number of mediocre blogs as well.  Again, I don’t count myself in the former (or latter) company, but as a fan of good writing, I find it annoying as I search for my next favorite blog, that I have to comb through all the sub-par writing to get to the gems.

Simon Q&A

You hardly ever mention Simon anymore.  Did he move out?

No, no, he’s still here.  He can’t really move out yet, he’s only two years old.  I stopped writing about him because everything I wrote was basically an update on his growth and development, and you know what that is?  BOR-ING!  But if you have questions about him, by all means, go ahead and ask away!

So, um, how’s his growth and development?

Sigh.  Fine, thanks for that thought-provoking question.  I mean, there are some things that could be better, mostly his speech development.  He is just now starting to get more words.  We were really concerned for awhile (or, I should say, I was concerned … I don’t know that Jesse was as worried as I was) because it seemed like he was only saying “momma” or “doggy”.  He couldn’t say “papa” or “Millie” or hardly any other words, and since he’s such a quiet boy to begin with, it really seemed like he just didn’t want to talk.  We were also concerned that his hearing was the reason his speech was delayed, because he has chronic ear infections.  But we got his hearing checked out in January and everything was normal.  The ear infections haven’t stopped, though, so he is getting tubes put in his ears at the end of this month.  I really hope that gets rid of the infections, because I can’t stand to see him tugging at his ears and moaning in pain.  Lately, his ear infections have come on so quickly, that from the time I pick him up from daycare to the time I get to Millie’s school to pick her up, the aforementioned moaning and tugging has progressed in the backseat from mild to full-on crying in pain.  And that’s a fifteen-minute ride, folks.  And of course, the pediatrician’s office is closed by that time so I am wandering the city looking for a walk-in clinic to get my baby on antibiotics, stat!  But anyway, his words are coming much faster now – some of them are still garbled, so I think the tubes will help with the muffled hearing he is probably experiencing, and once that happens I think the words will clear up.  But now that he’s graduated to the 2-year-old room at daycare, and is surrounded by other kids who are talking a lot, his speech is coming along nicely.  He’s starting to repeat what you say, so I can name all the colors and he will repeat them back to me.   He is a skinny boy, just like his sister and just like his mommy, only 24 lbs right now.  He’s a picky eater, too, so he’s not eating tons.  He loves meat, and fruits, but he won’t eat vegetables of any sort.  He loves junk food – cookies, chips, candy, but we try to limit it.  Millie wasn’t interested in any of that stuff until she hit about 3 1/2, and we were vigilant about not letting her have any of that stuff.  Simon benefits from Second Child Syndrome to be sure.

Any interesting personality traits?

My boy’s middle name should have been “Shecky Green”.  He thinks he is hilarious (trouble is, we sort of think he is, too).  Although he’s shy, when he’s comfortable with someone he can be very silly and funny.  He loves to smile – he’s got a very slow smile that is just too charming. He will look at you, all serious, and then this smile will break out on his face and you can’t help but smile back.  He loves to wrestle and will lay on me and his sister, laughing hysterically the whole time.  He is also very defensive, meaning he will defend his territory or his stuff with every ounce of his being.  He won’t let someone take something from him, and there are a couple of kids in daycare who have the bite marks to prove it.  I think we are probably very lucky that we’ve been at that daycare for so long, because I think any other kid would have been marked as “trouble” after the first two bites.

So, what’s he into these days?

Pooh.  Winnie the, to be exact.  In the morning, he wakes up and says, “Pooh” and hands us the remote control.  When we get home from school/work, he runs to the living room and does the same thing.  When he sees the DVD main screen come up, and Pooh flies up holding a balloon, he squeals with delight.  We’re trying to mix it up now, and have added “Doggy” (Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamp’s Adventure) and “PaPahn” (Or something close to that – he’s trying to say “Peter Pan”).  Tonight, we were watching Peter Pan and right as we were about to tell him it was time to go to bed, he said, “Doggy?” and handed us the remote.  When we said no, not tonight, he had a meltdown (back to interesting personality traits, he has lots of meltdowns when he doesn’t get his way or he’s overtired) because he REALLY wanted to see those doggies!  He will lay with his head on my lap as he watches the movie, and it’s probably one of the best parts of my day.  He also likes pretty much anything Millie is doing at the exact moment she is doing it, which of course annoys Millie to no end.  But it’s reciprocal – if he is doing something by himself, she has to do it, too.  Ah, the joys of siblings!

What do you love best about him?

I think the thing I love best about him is the fact that I love him so much.  I wasn’t sure, at the beginning, how I would relate to a boy.  I have no experience with boys, and even when I delivered him, I was sure he was going to be a girl.  But he is a mama’s boy through and through, and we have this amazing bond.  I love my girl, to be sure, but the love I have for my boy is different, and it has been a wonderful surprise.  He is my snugglebunny – when Jesse brings him into the bathroom in the morning to greet me, the delight on his face is mirrored on my own.  After dinner, we will sit on the couch and he will either rest against my shoulder or lay across my lap and watch tv.  Putting him to bed is our special time together.  He knows it’s bedtime and will lay his head on my shoulder and I will sing our song:

I love you Simon

Oh yes I do

I love you Simon

And I’ll be true

When you’re not near me

I’m blue

Oh Simon I love you

It is our peaceful time together, and I look forward to it every night.  And you know what?  I think he does, too.

Any closing remarks?

What is this, the White House Correspondent’s Dinner?  Um, In Conclusion, I would like to say that I am an incredibly lucky mommy.  I have two beautiful children that not only do I love painfully hard but that I also like immensely.  If Simon’s next year and a half is anything like Millie when she was this age, we are going to have a blast.  I can’t wait to see what happens next!

The end of an era – part two

Where was I?  Oh yes, the job.

My internship at HBO/Cinemax was pretty bad, so I won’t go into detail about it, except to say that I sure hope the internship program is more organized now – I think it should be, 18 years later, but you never know.  The main things I remember about that job is that I didn’t learn anything, I never hung out in the same office twice (whoever was out sick that day, that was the office I would make my own for the day), I watched a lot of old movies on beta, and whenever I could, I would leave that job to go over to OLTL.  The only good thing about it was that they sent me a $500 stipend after the semester was over, which I wasn’t expecting and was very happy to get.

OLTL was my dream job.  As an intern, my responsibilities included making copies of scripts (tons of copies every day), counting fan mail, answering phones and running errands.  I know, that sounds boring, but dude, I was working on a SOAP OPERA!  My dream job.  I couldn’t believe my luck.  I worked in the production office two days a week, with three other women.  I couldn’t tell you what their jobs were, but they basically controlled the day-t0-day operations of the place.  The building is three floors – the 2nd floor is the one where you entered the building and that was where the studios were – one long studio with different sets.  The sets could be anything from the Lord Mansion, a hospital, a car crash site, you name it, they probably had a set for it at some point.   The basement consisted of the actor’s dressing rooms, wardrobe, hair and makeup and a rehearsal room, and I didn’t venture down there very often, as I was intimidated by most of the actors – plus, the security guard down there smelled bad.   The top floor, where I worked, housed the writers, producers and music (and probably some others I don’t recall).  The best thing about the top floor was that every day, there was catered breakfast.  Ah, in the land before cutbacks, we gorged on bagels, fresh fruit and pastries.  I so loved working in the production office that, halfway through my internship, I finally realized that I should actually be getting more out of my time there and needed to observe other departments than my own, and finally began to ask to shadow other areas.  I did some time in music, I observed music editing, I did a little time in the control room, but really, I spent most of my time in the office.  Looking back, I wish I had spent time in editing, casting, sets, props and with the director, but I was just so enamored of the office that I didn’t ever want to leave.

That winter was very harsh – we had 17 big snowstorms, and there were many days when I was sent home early for fear that I wouldn’t make it back out to Long Island before the trains shut down.  You would think that a major Metropolis like Manhattan would know how to deal with extreme weather by now.  You would be wrong – it’s like panic central when it snows, or even rains really hard.  I remember once, when I lived there in 1998, the weather report said that a bad rainstorm was coming, and we actually got to leave work early, in case the subways flooded and we couldn’t make it out to Queens.  My boss and I took the same subway line, and we were surrounded by what felt like all of New York, each person clamoring to get on the train.  We were packed like sardines on that subway, all because of a bit of rain.  I remember I got home at like 2pm and went to the movies.  Yes, it rained, but it wasn’t a monsoon, for the love of Mike!  Again, I digress.  I really hated that winter, not because of the weather, but because I kept getting sent home early from my dream job.  If I had known anyone in the city, I would have crashed at their place, just to stay at work a bit longer.

One time, I got to work in the middle of a snowstorm, and immediately got sent out on an errand for an actress.  She had a cold and needed cold medicine.  They gave me her credit card (can you imagine?) and told me to buy her some Nyquil or something equivalent so that she could get through her scenes.   At that point, I was basically going into the city, getting straight onto the subway, getting off the subway at my stop and walking straight to OLTL.  I didn’t know my way around the city at all, and I really didn’t know my way around the five-block radius of OLTL.  Yet out I went into a snowstorm where the snow was coming at you sideways, trying to find a drugstore or pharmacy so I could get this woman some cough syrup.  One of my co-workers had directed me: “I think there’s a drugstore around the corner, somewhere up on Broadway.”  The streets were a blinding white, signs were covered with snow, and I couldn’t see three feet in front of me – but she thought I would be able to find a drugstore, “easily”, she said.  Let me tell you, I don’t know how I found it, but I finally found a place that sold cold medicine.  You know how on sitcoms, someone will open a door and the wind and snow will follow them inside, and then they will close the door with their back, using all their might?  That was me that day.  I got into the store, bought the medicine, and then stood there for a few minutes, not wanting to go back outside.  However, I knew they were waiting for this medicine, so I went back out into the blizzard, waded through the foot-high snow, and got back to OLTL, completely wet and cold.  I gave them the medicine and then went into the bathroom to assess the damage.  I had mascara dripping down my face, my nose was red and frozen, but other than that, I looked ok.  I got back to the intern desk and hadn’t been seated for more than a half-hour before they told me to go home, the weather wasn’t going to get any better.  Are you kidding?  I braved a snowstorm for this?  I didn’t want to leave but did, cursing Mother Nature the whole way home.  That happened too often that semester, and every time I got back on the LIRR, that hourlong commute back to Babylon dragged.  I would listen to my Stone Temple Pilots cassette on my Walkman (completely dating myself) and watch the houses go by, with their above ground pools and snow-covered cars.

Another time, I was sent out to the other building (across the street from us was the main ABC building, where they had the employee cafeteria, as well as the local news and Live with Regis and Kathie Lee (Kelly Ripa was still on AMC at that point) to get lollipops for everyone in the control room.  Such silly errands, but I loved doing it.  Occasionally, the copier would break down (what am I saying, occasionally?  It broke down all the time.  You try making 50 copies of full scripts twice a day and see how the copier handles it) and we would have to go across the street and find a copier to commandeer so we could make our copies.  We went through tons of revisions every day and had to give all the actors new copies so they could memorize their lines.  I still have copies of some of the old scripts.  Certain color scripts meant certain things – there were yellow, green and pink, if I recall correctly.  We would make the copies and then put them in the actor’s mailboxes, along with their fan mail.  Making copies was a huge part of our day.

Sometimes, we had fun tasks like getting the actors to sign scripts for charity.  Except it wasn’t fun, because as I said I was shy and intimidated by the actors, so having to go up to them, having to SPEAK to them directly, was nervewracking.  They were all extremely nice, but back then I was starstruck (not anymore, Mary J. Blige, BRING IT) and tongue-tied and it was torturous to have to ask them to sign a script, even if it was for a good cause.  But inside?  I was in heaven.

I know the thing you are most curious about is the actors, right?  Yeah, I would be, too.  They were all really nice, like I said, but some were friendlier than others.  The actors didn’t come upstairs to our area that often (certain ones never made it upstairs), but every once in awhile you would see them.  If you went down to their dressing room area, you would bump into them more often, so I liked to take my time delivering the fan mail.  Many of the actors who are still on the show were on when I was there – I can’t name the actors, but characters like Nora and Bo, Viki, the old Clint, Asa, Dorian – basically the anchor characters.  Then there were the younger actors who were just biding their time, hoping for a better gig.  If you watch OLTL, it was just around the time when the original Todd was there, as well as Marty and other characters like Rebecca, Powell, Max, Luna, and the original Jessica, Erin Torpey, who was probably in her freshman or sophomore year of high school.  I remember talking to her and she asked where I went to school, and she was so impressed about me being in college.  I was friendly with only one actor, the guy who played Powell.  He was the first actor I ever met who seemed like a regular guy.  He was very down-to-earth and nice to everyone, and you could tell he felt extremely lucky to have a job.  After meeting him, I don’t think I was ever impressed by an actor again, because I realized that what they did, at the core, was work a job just like you and me.  It just happens that their job is on tv or in film.  But they are real people, people who have dogs and kids and mortgages and have to take out the garbage and make dinner and do all the same things you and I do … except if they’re lucky (and talented, but sometimes lucky is the key factor) they make more money than you and I.

When the semester was drawing to a close, I had to make a decision – stay in NY or go home to Florida.  My family wanted me to come home – they wanted to see me graduate from college.  I thought, “If I go home now, I’ll never come back.”  Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed there.  OLTL wasn’t hiring, but I probably would have found another job.  But I went home like a good daughter and my family got to watch me graduate from FSU.  I went back to my summer job as a cashier at Albertson’s, and in September of 1994 I started working at HSN.  I moved back to NY in 1997  and stayed there for a year and a half, then moved back home and went back to HSN.  12 years later, I’m still at HSN.  But without this place, I would never have met my husband and never had my kids, so I can’t say it was a bad decision to leave NY.  But I loved my experience at OLTL and I loved living in New York, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.   There are certain things in life that change you, that help shape you as a person, and my life in New York City certainly did that.  I came back from both of my NY stints knowing (and I know this sounds corny, but what the hell) “if I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.”

So goodbye All My Children and One Life to Live.  Thanks for everything.  And yes, I’m still waiting for you to apologize for killing Dixie.  Any day now …

The end of an era – part one

So, if you follow entertainment news, you know that long-running soap operas All My Children and One Life to Live were both cancelled by ABC.  I have been an ABC soap-watcher since I was a child (my mom weaned me on AMC, and at one point I watched every single soap, including Loving/The City), and even though I stopped watching both AMC and OLTL a few years ago (killing Dixie was the beginning of the end of AMC, in my opinion, and the straw that broke this here camel’s back – the day they did that, I said to the TV (yes, I talk to the TV, so what?), “That’s it, All My Children, I am DONE with you forever!”  You just can’t kill a main character and not expect fans to be outraged.  But I digress.), I still have a soft spot in my heart for those shows and will be very sad to see them go.

I bet most of you don’t know this, but I actually did my college internship at One Life to Live.  I told you, I love soaps, and my goal back then was a) move to New York and work in television and b) work on a soap opera.  Amazingly, I did both!  It was an amazing experience and one I haven’t really talked about that often, so I thought I’d let you know what life on a soap opera is really like.

It was the fall semester of 1993, and it was time to choose my senior year internship.  Everyone else in the program at FSU was looking for local news internships, but I had my eyes set on something bigger, something more exciting.  I didn’t want to work behind a camera or in a control room (although I did end up doing that for years) – I wanted to be part of something special.  I sent letters to all the soap operas in New York, as well as the big networks (HBO, MTV, VH-1, etc.).  I was surprised to actually get responses from a few places, including Loving/AMC, OLTL, HBO and As The World Turns (I think … it was so long ago!).  I quickly made plans to go up to NY to interview – I called my aunt for a place to stay, I booked my plane ticket (my first time flying since I was a small child), and I was off!

I hadn’t been up to New York in a long time (we moved to Florida from Long Island when I was 12), and hardly ever went into Manhattan as a child (my mom was not comfortable driving/taking the train to the city), so going there as a semi-adult was beyond exciting.  My cousin went into the city with me, I think it was sometime Thanksgiving week, and I distinctly remember going up the escalator at Penn Station, hearing the sounds of the city getting louder and louder, and finally, BAM! the city surrounded me.  Some people do not like the hustle and bustle of the city, but as soon as I got off that escalator, I felt at home.

We were early, so we stopped at a diner and my cousin got some coffee while we waited for my first interview.  Sitting in that diner, watching the people hurrying to work, I was in heaven.  The energy of New York was so exhilarating, and I thrived on it.  We finally walked off to my first interview, at HBO.  I met with HR first, and then a gentleman who worked at Cinemax in the On-Air Promotions department.  He was very nice, but I was really gunning for the soap opera jobs, so I can’t say I remember too much about that interview.  Also, it was 18 years ago, and I have trouble remembering yesterday.

Funny aside – years later, when I was living in NY and sending my resume out to any and every network/production company/show in town, I got a call from a woman at USA network for a job interview.  Apparently, she was the HR person at HBO when I interviewed there, and she remembered me!  I didn’t get the job, but man, she was pretty good at hers!

After that interview was over, we went to AWTW.  It’s funny, but I don’t remember that interview either – like I said before, I am an ABC soap-watcher, so even interviewing at a rival network’s soap felt a bit traitorous to me.  Of course, I would have been happy to do an intership there, but I REALLY wanted to work on an ABC soap.

Now, the main event – my interviews at Loving/AMC and OLTL.  Loving and All My Children were in the same building, down at the very end of 66th street on the West Side.  We got lost and had to almost run to get there on time – that was my first experience with streets v. avenues.  Walking a street block is not so bad, but walking an avenue takes FOREVER!  When I walked into that building, I was first struck by all the cast pictures – imagine, having watched these people for years, and now to actually be IN the place where they worked!  It was beyond thrilling.  I was taken up to a meeting room and waited for a very long time for someone to come interview me.  I guess there was some sort of drama (ha) going on … or was someone sick?  I can’t remember now, but I know that all that waiting made me even more nervous.  Finally, they interviewed me, and I thought it went well.  I thought I might get a position at Loving, which would have been great because even if I wasn’t at AMC, I was still in the same building.  After that interview, I went to OLTL for my interview there.  I met one of the producers, Frank Valentini, and that interview went well, too.

And that was it.  I went back to Florida and waited/hoped for a call.  I had put all my eggs in NY’s basket, and if I didn’t get an internship there (and it had to be a full internship, meaning I had to have 12 hours of credit in order to leave FSU and be at this internship full-time), I didn’t have a backup plan for an internship in Florida.

Mid December, I got calls from both HBO and OLTL.  None of the other jobs panned out.  OLTL could only offer me two days a week, so I accepted three days at HBO/Cinemax and YES!  I was moving to New York!!

I was going to be living at my aunt’s house, and it was crowded.  Her daughter and her daughter’s 3 year old son were living there, and because of custody issues, he had to have his own room, and it had to look like a child’s room.  That didn’t leave a room for me, so I was going to be sharing his room.  Imagine being a 20 year old woman sharing a room with a 3 year old who called you “Tory”.  It actually wasn’t that bad, but it’s funny when I think back on it.  My  uncle would drive me to the train station in Babylon every morning, and even though I always thought I was going to miss the train, he always got me there on time.  He drove pretty fast, and loved to honk his horn to alert people that he was coming.  My uncle would pack my lunch every day and my aunt would have dinner waiting for me when I got home at night.  It was pretty sweet.  My uncle would always brag to family, “When Korey lived with us, I fattened her up!” because I used to be extremely thin.  Well, having someone make your meals for you definitely helps you gain weight!

My commute into the city was an hour on the Long Island Railroad (LIRR), both ways.  I was going to be working 9am-5pm Monday, Tuesday and Thursday at HBO/Cinemax and Wednesday/Friday at OLTL.  HBO’s headquarters were on 6th Avenue (the Avenue of the Americas) and 42nd street, and OLTL was at 66th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues (I think).  After getting off the LIRR at Penn Station, I would take a subway, either up to 42nd street (the subway for my HBO trip was conveniently located right at the HBO building) or to Lincoln Square for OLTL.  I felt so very adult, commuting into Manhattan everyday.

I’m going to stop here and continue this saga in another post.  I’m getting to the good stuff, I promise!

Q&A – Millie

Do you have kids?

Why yes, yes I do.  Thanks for asking.  Two beautiful nuts that simultaneously drive me crazy with delight and frustration on a daily basis.  Millie is 5 years old and Simon turns 2 at the end of this month.

So how are your kids doing?

They are great, thanks!  They both have so many fun personality quirks, and they are both at such great ages that everyday is a day filled with surprises.

Tell us about Millie.

Well, Millie is a great kid when she puts her mind to it.  On the days when she is being good, she likes to tell me repeatedly, “I’m being very good today.  I’m being respectful and I’m following directions.”  The constant reminder is so I will give her rewards, but I also just like hearing it come out of her mouth in that tiny little voice.  When people meet Millie they are instantly charmed.  She is a pretty child (I say that not as a mother but as someone who judges talent/attractiveness for a living) and she is sweet and quick to smile and laugh and is just a fun kid.  That’s why no one believes me when I tell them about her Mr. Hyde personality.

When Millie is tired or not feeling well, she turns into a demon in pink.  Her cheery demeanor will fall apart in seconds with just one word from me: “Bedtime!”  Last night, we were having a good time – she was being very well-behaved, and she got a reward of a half-hour of television (oh, the tales I could tell about our tv battles), and we were watching “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” quite contentedly.  I was taping it so she could watch the rest of it another day.  At 7:50pm, I told her, “You have 10 more minutes before bedtime,” and she quietly said, “Ok” and kept watching the show.  When 8pm rolled around, I said, “Ok, bedtime.  Go get your pajamas on,” and you would have thought I said, “Ok, torture time.  Go get the waterboard.”  She instantly crumpled, started crying and screaming at me, and became completely incoherent.  I had to say to her, “Calm down, I can’t understand one word you are saying.”  She continued to cry and I made out, “Never … get to … you … watch … and I don’t … didn’t watch … never … me do anything!”  I just told her to go get her pajamas on, and she went into her room, slamming doors and crying loudly – so loudly that she woke up Simon, who started crying.  I went into her room and I know she knew she was in trouble, because she was already in bed, under the covers, hiding.  I said, “Did you wake Simon up?” and she didn’t say anything, so I went into his room and calmed him down.  When I went back into her room to scold her, well what do you know, she was sound asleep.  That was from 8pm-8:10pm.  Just ten minutes.  Now multiply that to a full day of that attitude, and you can see why sometimes I just get tired of her.

But you love her, of course.

Well, of course.  I was watching old videos of Millie when she was around between 2-4 years old, and lemme tell ya, that kid is worth every headache and screaming match.  I can’t even explain how much I love her, my first baby.  I always tell her, “You are my favorite girl.”  She is my favorite not only because I love her, but because I like her a lot, too.  I love that she is smart, curious, eager to learn, and most of all, her joyful nature is so great to be around.  She is always happy, and that makes me want to let go of whatever’s bothering me and be happy too.

Speaking of smart, how is she doing in school?

Really well.  She is in kindergarten, and I can’t believe it but the school year is almost over.  Her daycare really prepared her for school – when she got there, she already knew all her letters and numbers, the sounds letters make, shapes, etc.  She was one of the first, if not the actual first kid to join the ABC club (you have to know all your letters and then the Principal announces it over the PA system and you get a prize), and she just joined the Sight Word club.  She had to know 32 or 33 words by sight.  We practiced all the time and she was hovering at about 29 words, and I was a bit concerned because she wasn’t getting words like “what”, “with”, “where” (It’s so interesting – as an adult, we look at words and they seem so easy.  It’s hard to understand what it must be like to not have any comprehension of what words are.)  We had a parent/teacher conference about a month ago, and I was concerned that the teacher was going to tell me she wasn’t doing well with her Sight Words.  When we got to that topic, and we talked about how she was stuck at 29 words, I asked, “Is that bad?” and the teacher said, “Well, most kids at this stage have 4 words.”  Later, I found out that she was actually the 4th kid in her class to join the Sight Word club.  She’s a smart girl, my Mil.

We are trying to get her into another school next year, a magnet for Performing Arts.  Not that I think she’s going to do that for a career, but she is a performer at heart.  She’s not a great singer and she didn’t take to dance lessons (Again, I judge this stuff for a living – I will not be one of those parents on American Idol who tells their child, after being rejected, “They didn’t know what they were talking about, you will be a star,” because um, yes they do know what they’re talking about and p.s. your child can’t sing), but she loves art and I think she would love acting.  This school teaches every child how to play violin and she would get daily music, art and dance classes.  I think she would thrive in that environment.  Her current school is very good, but I don’t think she is challenged there.  We tried to get into this magnet program last year, and were #300 on the waiting list.  This year, we are #11, so I am hoping that 11 parents don’t love their child enough to send them to this school, and we will move up on the list and get a slot.  Update: We are now #16 on the waiting list – apparently, they add in siblings after the acceptance period.  We’ll keep checking back and hopefully she will move up on the list.

I’ve tried to be an involved parent, but that has consisted of chaperoning field trips and not much else.  I could blame it on the toddler, but it’s not his fault I’m a slacker.  I’ll try to be more involved next year.

What does Millie like to do, besides watch television?

Nothing.

Well, that’s not completely true, but honestly, if I gave her the choice of watching tv for a full day or going to Disney World, I think she would take the tv day.  She is so addicted to tv that it frightens me a bit.  Since she was a baby, she has always been mesmerized by television, and that worked to my advantage.  I could just put in a Baby Einstein video and get stuff done around the house.  She would get a bit glassy-eyed, but since it went away once the tv was off, I thought it was harmless.  Now, it’s concerning.

When she wakes up, she will walk into our room and the first thing she says is, “Can I watch a little bit of tv?”  When we get home from school, it’s the same question.  If we let her watch, and then turn it off for whatever reason, she turns into Mr. Hyde (referenced above).  She will scream and shout that she NEVER gets to watch tv, and that we watch more than she does and she will stomp and throw things and just have a grand old tantrum.  We only have one tv, so the ratio of how much she watches v. how much we watch is incredibly disproportionate.

Now, I love tv, too, but I don’t recall being so ferociously addicted to it that I had crazy tantrums.  And maybe that’s just my hazy memory, but regardless, we have to limit her tv intake.  So I’ve started a new reward system – if she behaves, she gets 15 minutes of tv time.  She can either build up her bank or use her time incrementally.  She’s doing ok so far, but she’s going to run out of tv credits soon and I’m dreading the meltdown.  Update: she’s actually doing much better than I expected.  The tantrums have stopped, and she is finding other things to do with her time before she asks for tv.  IT’S WORKING!  I can’t believe it.

Otherwise, she likes to do art, she likes to color, she loves to be outside, she likes going to the playground and she loves to run around at the beach.  She has a good imagination, so when we can get her to play with her toys, I will hear her in her room having long conversations with her Barbies.  She will play with her kitchen set and feed us all, and she likes to build forts out of the sofa cushions.  Lately, she’s been sitting on the front porch and singing at the top of her lungs.  I find it adorable but I don’t know if the neighbors would agree.

How has Millie changed in the past five years?

The easiest way to describe how she’s changed is this – she’s a kid.  She’s not a baby or a toddler anymore, she’s a full-fledged kid who can carry on a conversation and has a vivid imagination and knows how to behave properly (when it counts).  I miss the funny expressions (Cockaladude and Humpy Dumpy were favorites) and I miss the baby voice, but I love having real talks with Millie.  Even though she doesn’t ever stop talking, I love that she has a lot to say.  She has such interesting insights into things and can be very logical like her mama.  I could do without the teenager attitude at times, but when she is just being herself, she is delightful.

What is your most favorite thing about Millie?

She radiates joy.  My most passionate wish is that nothing ever happens to her to extinguish that sparkle in her eye and that bright, exuberant smile.  I know it’s not realistic to expect that her life will be free of sadness, but I hope that when sadness does comes into her life, she won’t lose sight of all the joy that is there, too.

Thou wilt read, willst thou?

I have decided to become a writer.  Well, I mean, I guess I’m already a writer (I do write for this blog, you know, from time to time), but this time, I’m going to do it for money!  I hope.

There is a website called www.examiner.com, and they have writers for just about every topic you can think of, which basically means I am just one of thousands of people who are going to speak their mind on the site.  I am going to be a Presentation Skills Expert for St. Petersburg, Florida.  Since that’s what I do for a living, I figure, I can give some advice on the topic.  My main focus will be how to be a powerful public speaker, which is something I have become very good at over the past few years.  Learning to present is easy, so I’ll be offering tips and tricks for how to present at a meeting, conference, trade show or even on television.

Once I’m up and running, I’ll be linking to my articles, which I hope my faithful readers (all 3 of you) will check out.

Jello Shots, anyone?

I am officially a Jello Shot Conoisseur.  I never set out to be one, yet here I am, a veritable font of information about how to make a good Jello Shot.

It all started when I joined a Krewe.  A Krewe, if you don’t know, is a private social club that participates in parades and other fun stuff.  The Tampa area is rife with Krewes – they are over 80 Krewes in this area.  Some are men only, some are women only, but most are co-ed.  The best way to describe a Krewe is like a fraternity or sorority … for adults.  Our Krewe is all about having fun.  We are mostly made up of women 40+, but they are starting to bring in some younger women.  But man, these women sure do know how to party.  Hence, the Jello Shots.

I joined the Krewe last August because I wanted to start meeting new people.  I have a nice circle of friends, but they are all through my job, and I thought it would be nice to meet people outside of work.  My friend Lisa joined last year and invited me to come on the Krewe this year.  We have about 60-70 members, and apparently the last “class” of members was the largest yet.  We participate in six parades each year.  We have our own float and we can ride the float or walk the parade route and throw beads at the crowd.

I remember seeing the Krewe a couple of years ago as we were watching a parade in St. Petersburg and thinking, “That’s so cool, I want to be a part of something like that,” but had no idea how to get involved.  It’s funny how things happen.  When Lisa told me about the Krewe, I instantly said, “Yes, I want to join.”  It’s not cheap, let me tell you, but I am really enjoying myself.

Being part of a parade, as opposed to just a spectator, is so cool.  Most of the parades we are in are “away”, so we all take a big bus to the parade location.  Our Krewe is St. Petersburg-based, and most of the parades are in Tampa – that’s not so far away, but part of the fun is the bus ride over to the parade.  We have a Bead Party the night before the parade, where we can drop off our beads so we don’t have to carry them on the bus.  It’s amazing how many beads you can throw in one parade.  Lisa and I have split the cost (because they ain’t cheap) and have been very frugal with our beads, but some ladies go all out and buy special beads to throw.  There are two types of beads, “throw” and “trading”.  Throw beads are just what they sound like – beads you throw to spectators.  And let me tell you, some spectators are very picky about the beads they get.  They will throw beads back at you if they don’t like them, so you have to keep an eye out so you don’t get hit in the face with beads!  Trading beads are beads that are special to the Krewe – they have our Krewe logo on them and cost a lot more – $5 per necklace!  When we get to the parade, the first thing we do is decorate the float and eat!  Every Krewe tailgates at the parade, so we have sandwiches and snacks and drinks … including the aforementioned Jello Shots.  After the float is done and we’ve all eaten and had some shots, we take a walk and go visit with other Krewes.  That’s when your trading beads come in – you want to trade your beads with other Krewes.  Some Krewes have really cool beads – glow in the dark, flashing, etc.  So you walk and talk with other Krewes until the start of the parade.  It’s very fun.

Now, my personality is such that when I come into a new situation, I can’t help but begin to analyze it.  I try to see how things are working, what is working well and what needs to be fixed.  Once I joined the Krewe, I had a lot of ideas about things to update.  I somehow got in good with the leaders of the Krewe, and the next thing you know, I’m being invited to join the “Jello Shot Committee” … which isn’t an official committee but is made up of the Founder of the Krewe, the President and 1st Vice President.  I figured, they are vetting me … trying to see what I’m all about.  So I showed up for the first “meeting” and learned how to make a Jello Shot!  Of course, I did my research and came up with a few different Jello Shot recipes that I thought would impress the group.  I had told the VP that I wanted to participate in some committees, and all of a sudden I was the Chair of the Communications Committee (which had been vacant for two years … apparently no one wanted to take it over).  Once I did that, they asked me to be on the Board of Directors.  So now, after only being on the Krewe for seven months, I’m now joining the Board.  I’ve never advanced in any organization so quickly!

So anyway, Jello Shots.  The key to good Jello Shots is to make sure the proportions are correct.  If you are making a 6 oz box of Jello, you would normally use 2 cups of water.  For Jello Shots, you use one cup of water and one cup of alcohol.  If you add too much liquid, the Jello won’t set.  So far, we’ve made a very interesting assortment of shots – Margarita, Fuzzy Navel, Chocolate Raspberry, Sex on the Beach, Mint Julep, Kamikaze, Midori, Raspberry and Chocolate Covered Cherry.  Some of them have been quite nice, and some of them have been very strong – some of the committee members like to add a bit more alcohol than the recipes call for.  We have one more parade that we make Jello Shots for (we don’t make them for home parades because we don’t want to get sloshed in our hometown) and we are going to do a “best-of” and have everybody vote for their favorites. 

Do you have a favorite Jello Shot?  I would love to hear about it, because I am always looking for new ideas!  I have two more recipes that I want to try, a Purple Nerd and Strawberry Lemonade, but what I’m really thinking about doing next is a Lemon Drop.  I love those as normal shots, so I’m thinking they would be very good in Jello!

Here are the three most painful things, in my opinion (and in order):

1.  Foot Cramps

2.  Sore Throat

3. Childbirth

See, childbirth only happens (if you’re like me) twice in a lifetime.  So while it’s painful, it’s not like it’s going to recur when you don’t want it to.  On the other hand, I get sore throats and foot cramps all the time.  They are hella painful and don’t have a specific end point, so you just have to suffer through them.  And, it’s not like you can take any good medicine for them – at least with childbirth, there is the promise of an epidural (cross your fingers it works, my second one didn’t). 

Last night, as I was about to checkout at Target, my left foot (ha), cramped up.  Normally, if it happened at home I would just walk around the living room about 50 million times until it relaxed.  But I was already in the process of paying for my stuff, so I couldn’t pay and then go back in and do a lap around the store.  Plus, it was the shoes I was wearing that caused me to have the foot cramp in the first place, so I didn’t think walking even longer in those shoes was going to help.  (Damn flip flops – it was the first time I was wearing them since the summer and I guess my feet were like, “WTF?”)  So I walked out to my car and for a second I thought, “I’ll just walk circles around my car until it relaxes.”  But then I realized 1) it was about 9pm at night and the parking lot was creepily half-deserted (which means there was a chance there was a murderer lurking in his van with no windows who would grab me as I lapped the car) and 2) again, walking in the flip flops was not going to help.  So I got in my car and sat there and tried to massage the cramp out of my foot … which never works.  Driving with a foot cramp is kind of scary, because you never know when that one “seize” is going to overcome you and potentially make you drive off the road.  But at that point, I’d been sitting in the car for about 10 minutes and it wasn’t dissapaiting at all, so I had to start driving home.  I was trying to drive fast enough to get home quickly but not so fast I would get pulled over.  “Ma’am, why were you driving so fast?”  “AAAAHHHH my foot!”  I finally got home and circled the living room about 20 times before it subsided.  But I am telling you, the pain of a foot cramp is like nothing else – you can’t prepare for it (sometimes I can foretell the onset of a cramp, but I can’t prevent it from happening) and you can’t medicate it because it’s going to be over in 15 minutes.  I know, you should drink lots of water and get potassium, but I honestly don’t think that will help – I’ve done all that and I still get them.  It’s just my own personal torture.

I also get sore throats all the time.  A sore throat was always my first sign that I was getting sick, but lately I’ve been getting them when the weather changes or when allergens are high.  That’s not fair, because weather is always changing and here in Florida the allergens are ALWAYS high.  It wouldn’t be so bad if the pain was occasional, but you have to swallow, what, thousands of times in a day?  So each swallow reminds you how much it hurts!  I’ve tried those throat sprays but I always end up spraying my tongue and not my throat.  Having a numb tongue is very annoying and does nothing for the pain in my throat.  You know what I do, which is absolutely terrifying?  I sleep with a cough drop in my mouth.  I mean, think about that – I could choke to death.  But because I am so petrified of choking to death, I stuff the cough drop in the side of my mouth, like a squirrel, and then clamp my teeth down in a deathgrip.  Subconsciously, I must know the cough drop is there, because normally, I would open my mouth while I was sleeping – we probably all do, from time to time.  But when I have a cough drop in my mouth, I can go all night long and never open my mouth once.  I usually wake up in the morning with a small sliver of the cough drop still in the cheek of my mouth.  I hate doing it, but I just can’t sleep with a sore throat.  Sometimes I take Tylenol Sore Throat, and that helps a bit, but there is just no good cure for a sore throat.  When I have a sore throat, I drink tea with honey and lemon … and I HATE tea.  That’s how desperate I get. 

I think I really would go through childbirth again, rather than have foot cramps or sore throats.

Fashion Forward

I just watched a lovely movie about Valentino, the designer.  His clothes are absolutely beautiful (probably more beautiful than I realized prior to watching the movie) and I was so impressed with the amount of detail and hand-crafting in every piece.  This is a man who truly cares about his work – it is his passion.  And his passion has led him to an amazingly successful career, and a longevity that most people can only dream about.  

Watching that movie showed me that, if you love what you do, you will be successful.  You may not have the success of someone like Valentino, but as long as you are enjoying yourself, you will be happy.  That is my goal now, to be happy in my career, to enjoy what I do every day.  I’m working toward that goal, bit by bit.  It’s not easy to juggle what I want/need to do with what I have to do, but I am trying very hard to move toward my dream.

Renewing my vows

This isn’t what you think.  I do love my husband, but I don’t need to renew my vows to him.  I need to renew my vows to my blog.  I vowed, over seven years ago, to be faithful and true to this site.  I vowed to not be neglectful and to always come back.  And yet, I haven’t posted in over seven months.

I am sorry, blog.  Truly. 

I could make excuses, of course.  I could say that the back half of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 have not been great.  I could say that I’ve been depressed and uncertain about many things in my life for almost a year.  But really, what good does it do to wallow in self-pity?  Oh, woe is me, my life isn’t what I wanted it to be and I don’t know what to do.  There’s no point in focusing on all the crap going on in my life. 

I need to get myself to a better place, and maybe coming back here is a step in the right direction.  My blog was always something I enjoyed.  When I thought my writing was good, I always felt extremely proud of myself.  And even when I felt like this blog turned into an online diary (“got up.  ate breakfast.  took kids to school.”), it was still a place to say my piece, a place where I could go that was all mine.  And for some reason, I let that go.

I went over a friend’s house this past weekend and we got to talking about blogs.  She asked why I wasn’t working on my blog, and I said I just didn’t feel inspired anymore.  But I think the real reason was, I lost confidence in myself.  I started to think, “I don’t have anything important to say and I’m sure no one is interested in what I have to say.”  Wow, seeing that in print makes me feel disappointed in myself, but like I said, it’s been a tough seven or eight months.

HOWEVER … I am determined to get back to feeling like myself.  No matter what curveballs life has thrown at me lately, I need to start taking care of me again.  I need to get back to feeling satisfied with my life and who I am.  I have started taking steps to get there, and I think getting back into my blog will be important for me.

So I am renewing my vows to you, Splendid Bohemian.  I am going to try to post at least once a week, if not more.  I am going to try not to have every post be about my kids (although they are super cute and I have lots of updates to share).  I am going to share (where I can) what is going on in my life as I start down a new path.  I hope those of you who used to read my site will come back, in time.  I think you’ll enjoy it.  I think I’ll enjoy it, again.